Part of managing our mental health is the ability to stay in the present — empowering that inner magnet to pull us back to the moment and the possible within it.
Sometimes we may feel that what we do is not that important because it has not been recognized. And if validation is important for you, then that makes the radio silence even more deafening. However, unknown to us is that our place in this space is a valuable gift to someone somewhere. And, that what we do — as men and women, as young and old — has a profound reach and impact on another’s life.
In my own story there has been farming and financial challenges, loss and grief, domestic violence and depression. There have been life changing incidences of gaslighting and bullying, the suicides of several loved ones and the constant nagging pressure to perform. And in between those times I died of sepsis, came back to join in life a little altered (and very enlightened) and ready and willing to give back to a world that was often a darker place than I could have imagined.
Read Also
More precious than gold
When commercial fertilizers no longer meet the needs of the world’s farmers, the value of manure will grow, says Alberta Farmer columnist Brenda Schoepp.
It hasn’t always been easy. Keeping it all in perspective takes both courage and support. A friend whose partner is fighting for her life reminds me that each and every morning that we wake up brings two gifts — a chance and a choice. That chance does not come with an expectation or a demand. It is a simple offering to leave us space to make the choice to do the best we can this day. To stay, in the coming hours, in the present.
Both recognizing and appreciating that there is support takes vulnerability, but it is achievable. In the present, I may see and feel that the support and the kindness of the world is often overwhelming. In the present, I may also appreciate that what cannot be changed can be set free or moved upstairs to a Higher Power — for I actually do not own those rights.
The uncontrollable, such as the weather or the words and actions of others, are not ours. It’s like buying a size 12 shoe when we have size 6 feet — we just get lost in, hurt and frustrated with the big shoe. We don’t need to take that on. Like the correct fitting shoe, the sincere supportive words and actions that are shared with us, regardless of the source, make our lives better.
Those expressions of support are often simple and missed in the busyness of life. How often have we let common words of affirmation slip through us without recognizing them?
“I love you, Daddy.” (you are loved)
“I can’t wait to see you after that field is done.” (you are missed)
“I’ll help with that.” (you are valued)
“That works great. Thank you.” (you are appreciated)
“That is lovely on you.” (you are beautiful)
“I’ve been thinking of you.” (you matter)
On the farm we often say that the door is always open. My mother always stood at the door when folks left after coffee or lunch and called out “Come back again. Bye, bye for now.” This was not a parting so much as it was an invitation — an invitation to come back because the visitor was important to her. The phrase come back again is an affirmation of our worth.
Come back again.
When I obtained my graduate degree there were moments on that journey when I was feeling overwhelmed and disconnected. One day when studying with a military cohort I happened to mention that I was thinking of leaving agriculture. This was met with silence. Finally, a senior officer spoke up and said, “We cannot have deployment without food, we cannot have democracy without food, we cannot have peace without food. Think again. What you do is important.”
What we do — what you do — is important. Those simple words inspired me to think again about how vital it is to follow my values and my voice. To keep steady eyes on the purpose and in every situation, to be present with grace.
The door is always open.
When we feel at times that we are adrift without tether, there are moments to bring us back to the reality that all we do makes a difference.
After wielding a machete for hours under the intense heat of the Cuban jungle, I rested in the shade outside of the home of my host Cusa. I asked her if there was anything that would stop her from farming this tangled mess and bringing food to her community. No, she replied, nothing would stop her. Then, she took my hands, and said “Thank you for being here — so that others know that I exist.”
Thank you for being here.
Waking each day with the gratitude of a chance and a choice does not translate into a day without challenge, but it does give us an opportunity to stay in the present and to appreciate that we are a gift to another and we are valued.
